You & I

I dont know how to explain how I feel about you well enough for someone else to understand. I love you so much that sometimes thinking or speaking about you hurts & makes me burst out in tears at random. We are so far apart in everyway- distance, language, culture/way of living & most of the time, understanding & empathy, but our hearts feel the same unconditional love. I wish everyday I can be better for you, do more for you to make you proud, but I can’t…and at that I hate myself. I hate that I do more for someone else than I do to my own. Buy gifts for them that I couldn’t buy for you without you getting angry at me. I wish that everytime of the little I see you, we can have the same conversations over the phone instead of arguing over the silliest & focus on what really matters. I really wish I can erase some of the things You & I said to each other. Things are not always great between us but I know you have my back. I just hope you know that I love you anyway & always, Mom.

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